I am certainly not advocating that you should be looking for a mate (yet). But I thought this was an interesting article in the New York Times. It seems like good advice to me. I think you'll find that taking economics will change what you might look for in a potential spouse. It did for me (but it was too late, I already had landed my smokin' hot wife). Read the article and then tell me what you would you look for in a life long mate.
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
18 comments:
I think all of those questions are important. A relationship is a two-way deal you know?
~Kim I 5th
I think that if people would take these steps before getting married there would be a lower devorce rate in America. These things would be useful to talk about even if you have known the person for a long time.
jeff h 1st
In a "life long mate" many of the listed questions are important. One thing that I see as a necessity in my future spouse is a job that will be able to provide for us, maybe even if I didn’t have a job. This way I could stay home with whatever children we had.
Hannah L 1st
Yeah I wish I would have thought about these when I married my first wife...just kidding...kind of... Our society is to into the whole concept of instant gratification and only a few people will or would ever stop to think about these questions before entering into a lifelong committment...on a side note...I would think number 7 is the most important...just kidding...kind of
I think questions are a good idea. It is important before something life long, like marriage, to know each others feelings about particular subjects. I think the questions help reduce conflict later on.
Whitney A 5th
i thimk open communication with the person u like is a must in order to have a successful relationship. listening to each other could also probobly help to.
raelynn s. 5th
It is definitely important to discuss these questions. They are a reality that must be dealt with in order to understand what is to be expected from eachother.
Caitlan G. 5th
I concur...
Many of those questions are important to consider before marriage because without knowing intimate details of your partners ideas and beliefs you can not expect to agree on important issues that will arise after marriage such as whether or not to have children, how ur going to raise those children, and how to handle a joint financial situation.
Rachel H 5th
These questions are all impratant to discuss before marriage. I would have to agree with josh on the matter of having a tv in the bedroom or not. A tv is definately a must.
Landon M 5th
I for one am not a huge fan of having a tv in the bedroom, whatev...if there is a tv in the bedroom i would sit in my room all day and the living room would never be used.
Justin H 5th
I believe that all of these questions are important to ask before you get married. You need to know what each other think about certain cituations, because in the long run it can cause problems. Maybe by asking these questions it can reduce divorce rates.
Amber P. (1st)
I believe that many couples today rush into getting married before these crucial questions have been solved. If couples take time to evaluate these key concepts then I believe that it will lead to a successful marriage and thus reduce the divorce rate effecting our society.
I think that the majority of these questions are common sense questions and if you havn't discussed most of these before getting married then you are probaly an impulsive person and should not have a credit card
Riley White 1st period
I bet you that a large percentage of engaged couples have not addressed many of these questions. Especially the ones pertaining to finances. Most young couples have no clue what they are about to encounter in marriage.
McKay
I'd have to agree with you Mr. McKay. My boyfirend of 8 months and I have already discussed much of what is on this list, whereas my brother, Tommy and his fiancee have yet to learn enough about each other to have made the wiser decision of waiting .. That and some people might think that they are rushed into marriage, be it a pregnancy or an arrangement.
last comment from Jessica 5th Period
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